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On Brotherhood – Behind Bars

| June 3, 2012 | 0 Comments
On Brotherhood - Behind Bars

By Skadus AOR

It’s been a 7.5 year journey, 8 years November 4th, straight time. 2.5 have been most recently spent studying and practicing Nordic Indo-European Tradition and Odinism.

My introduction to Magick came in the form of Norse, it arrived while I was locked in a box- in Solitary Confinement of Ad-Seg. I was doing an 18 month seg trip. I spent 6 months studying and contemplating and preparing before I performed my first solitary ritual. At that point I’d not heard of ‘Blotar’.

For the past 1.5 years I’ve been out of solitary and actively engaged in Odinic group practice in the prison system. Like any other of our worlds organized religions or social organizations it has its factions and splinter groups and share of open ended debate.

As part of group study, and to help us engage with the Runes, our group performed a weekly Rune Cast and Rune Pull. Each week we would then study and meditate on the Rune that we’d pulled, and then share experiences with our Brothers the following week. I was honored to pull the Rune for our group one week.

To give a little background, only a month before being asked to pull the weekly Rune, I had been back “in the hole”. Ad-Seg for 30 days, over alleged involvement in a ‘group disruption’ that occurred in our housing. During those 30 days I continued to practice. Daily I would meditate, pray, and seek spiritual guidance. Drawn to me on the weekly ad-seg book cart were several books involving the history of Norsemen in the British Isles, Saxony, and Normandy… I felt a strong connection to the Ancestors. On the monthly Blot day I performed a makeshift Blotar ceremony in the ad-seg cell, around the same time I estimated the brothers would be standing tall at the prison’s Sacred Land. Daily I watched for the powers of the Runes and the Gods in the environment and encounters. And three weeks later, after getting out of the hole I was honored to pull the Rune at our Moot.

The Rune was Eihwaz. Representing the World Tree – Yggdrasil – connecting the Nine Worlds of Creation. It also symbolizes the “mystery of life and death, as part of the unified cosmic pattern reflecting the intentions of Orlog.”(1) Orlog may be relatable to Hermetic’s Law, Buddhist Dharma, or THAT. It is Primal Law from which all Creation arises. When at first I pulled Eihwaz, our Gothi asked the group, “Who knows what it represents?” The first response was “Death!” A chill Shivered through my spine.

When caught up in the midst of chaotic fighting of the Group Disturbance, I remembered in my mind calling on All Father to protect our people. I was not angry but rather detached. It was unlike one might imagine, unlike I’d Imagined. Later, in the hole, I said prayers for the guys involved- all of them- and prayed daily for healing and peace in our institution. I continued holding hope that this would be so.

Throughout the next week I studied and contemplated Eihwaz- not directly or even consciously, other than to draw upon the wall where I’d see it whenever I entered or departed the cell. At the weekend, Friday (Friggadag), after sunset, I sat down on my pallet after lock-up and got out what Runic literature I had. I analyzed Eihwaz Rune, and was amazed. There are many Runic interpretations, and I present the most Illustrative to point here for what I learned:

Physically, Eihwaz can mean actual death, but usually represents a drastic change in ones life. This generally takes the form of a passage into adulthood, or even a complete change in lifestyle… The changes involved will often appear frightening at first, but it is important for the person to accept them to benefit from them.
Psychologically, Eihwaz represents confrontation of one’s deepest fears…A mental transformation, often involving a radical change in ones values and beliefs.

Spiritually, Eihwaz represents initiation. This type of initiation may be preceded by one or more of the physical or psychological events already discussed, but the end result will be far more profound. The person will be forever changed on a very deep level, and will literally become a “new person” (2)

A local paper carried a horoscope for the week in which I drew Eihwaz, it advised:

Changing relationships…marshal a strong intention…to get the Process underway… to completely transform it. (3)

As it happens so often when we move into relationships with ‘higher forces’, synchronicities, attractions, harmonic convergences or what have you occur. Call it Sympathetic- or Karma- or Wyrd. Consulting the Norns and God of the Runes was and is revealing these Runic representations in many daily activities.

A few days after the Group Disruption, the state Prisons Bureau announced its intention to perform mass moves to other facilities. The transports had actually begun while I was in the Hole. A few days after the announcement I found myself called, along with 41 other inmates, to “roll it up”… We were being moved. A week of study with Eihwaz and I faced having one last opportunity to visit Moot before being moved (almost straight from the hole to another facility).

As I looked about me at the final group meeting I knew the transports had begun. I saw many new and unfamiliar faces. For a moment-frozen in time and space- I stood as one dazed, while a myriad of images slide-showed through my minds eye, over the last 1.5 years with Brothers. I saw the men who had been released and were now somewhere back in their hometown communities; men who’d been moved; guys who’d quit; Brothers who’d been sent to lock-down…

Coming out of reverie I proceeded to greet each of the remaining tried-and-true Brothers with an Open Heart and a firm and steady hand clasp. No words were necessary between us, our eyes shared that Light we carry for the mission of the New Awakening for our Folk. In silence we felt and held the awful power and mystery- of knowing without any doubt we’d shared together in a Magickal undertaking of Cosmic Forces. A bond I call Brotherhood. Ironically, even in prison-behind bars- it can be forged, and it is a bond that sets us free. Wyrd has its way!

I slowly faded into the background as the meeting got started. Our original nine members, who I’d begun study with, had grown into a large room with over twenty-two. There were three original faces in the crowd. The changes were underway. Some Brothers remained behind, and no doubt they are walking the path for a new generation of Brotherhood. There are Brothers even now, who hearing these words will feel and know this essence of Brotherhood, that trancend any singular time/space moment, and dwell in the realms of our eternal heritage, may the Gods speed our weal and light our way!

After the move, the first few days in the new facility, I lay awake long into the early morning hours. I had terrific dreams. I saw visions. I sensed the life I’d known was no longer. I grieved. I’d become no more than a shadow of my former self. In ten months I’d be up on parole. Without a thought I shed tears, as I silently lay gazing through the sliver of a window in the cell wall at a golden full moon. I bid farewell to the person I had been. The question of this ‘death’ or ‘transformation’ left a gaping hole. Who am I now? The answer came from the Rune Eihwaz.

Eihwaz is the Rune of Cleansing Fire. Einharjar. Connections to Ancestors. “It may lead to disappearance.”(4)

As the statement went, “a shadow of my former self”; I had become a “shadow”.

In its meaning Yggdrasil, Eihwaz signifies melding of opposites, coming together of upper and lower worlds in Midgard. The Central Pillar; the World Tree, that allows for travel to other realms of being. Connection- transcending duality.

In a blinding flash of Lightning and Rolling Thunder it all momentarily came together, as though I were beyond myself- a living shadow- looking there at the Thing itself. I grasped the message.

Coming together to better Humankind,“melding the opposites”. “Change Tansformation, Initiation.” All within Yggdrasil

Eihwaz had taught a greater goal- Universal Brotherhood; “but the end result will be even more profound.”

Thanks to Eihwaz, fellow Odinists, Brotherhood, Seekers after Truth and Harbingers of Light, Hael!

(1) Odinism in the Modern World- Wulfstan
(2) Raido- The Runic Journey- Jennifer Smith
(3) Boise Weekly- 8/15/12
(4) Guide to the Runes- Odinic Rite

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