| August 19, 2009

By Aeswyn, AOR

At a difficult junction in my life I was searching for something with more meaning, more depth than the conventional Christian church seemed to provide. I had never been comfortable as an Christian and the religion never seemed to be quite right. Like others of our folk who had been torn from their roots, I looked at many different ways, many different cultures and religions. But none of them gave me a sense of belonging. My brother had declared himself to be agnostic some years before and remains so to this day. He calls religion of any kind the opiate of the masses and yet gets upset about my leaving the religion I was brought up in.

I had been experimenting with tarot cards and other divination systems, as I wanted to know whether my life would improve. I had even tried spells I had found in a book by Jonathan Cainer called ‘Psychic Explorer’. These spells called on the pantheons of Rome and Greece. I performed one called the Mercury spell, which was for the intent of increasing intellect. Oddly enough during this ceremony I found myself looking at my living room wall and seeing, very clearly, a crystal skull. I have since seen this same image on the cover of a book by Arthur C Clarke. At this time I was totally unaware of the Northern European pantheon, apart from the romanticised mention of Odin in the movie ‘The Vikings’. Incidentally, I have, some years since that ‘spell’ become a member of Mensa with a measured IQ of 149.

Then I found the runes.

I had bought a set of runes with the intention of learning their divinatory properties. I bought several books explaining the runes and hit upon one, which also explained the pantheon from which they sprang. I was using a chart from one to toss the runes selected from the bag when I became frustrated, as they appeared to tell me nothing of my future. Then I experimented trying my own system of picking the runes one by one from the bag. I laid them out in a row and tried making sentences from their phonetic sounds. After many frustrating hours of what seemed to be nothing of any meaning, I made a breakthrough. I tried once more and was rewarded with ‘He has sent me forwarded on to help you’. I then asked whom I was talking to and the answer was ‘Shining light’, or ‘Shine a light’. I asked what I should then do and the answer was ‘Light a candle so I can reach port’. I did so and continued asking questions and laying the runes out for the answer. Again I asked ‘Who are you’ and the answer was ‘I am Balder, learn of me’. I had not explored the pantheon at this time and did not know who Balder was.

I then looked into Balder as well as studying the pantheon to which he belonged. I borrowed what books I could and bought others and found the OR listed in the contact addresses. By this time I had found myself completely ‘at home’ with the Gods and Goddesses I was reading about and I knew this is where I belong. So I was delighted to find that people still followed the old ways. I wrote to the address and became an apprentice member of the Odinic Rite. I received letters from Heimgest, which contained so much wisdom that I knew I was on the right track.

I began to receive OR literature and ORB. I obtained the Circle of Ostara ‘Odinic Mythology’ 21 which I consider to be required reading for all new Odinists. I found so much inherent wisdom in our mythology that I think our ancestors bad much more knowledge than modern man gives them credit for. Modern science is only now beginning to catch up. All this knowledge was hidden in our mythology for many centuries following the Christian destruction of our folkways. I felt that this is where I belong. I had ‘come home’. Although I am not yet a professed member of the Odinic Rite, I have conducted my own personal ceremony of fealty to our Gods and Goddesses and have sworn an oath to them. This oath, to me, is solemn and binding.

I continued using the runes as a way of talking to Balder as I had found much wisdom in his answers too, and one day asked what my name is. (I had noticed that members of the OR seemed to have Odinic names). The answer I received was two runes Ansuz and Wunjo. This I took at the time to be phonetic Ao. I took Ao as my Odinic name and used it on several articles I wrote for ORB, some of which are in the first edition of ‘North Wind’. On further study I took the two runes and came up with Aeswyn. On asking Balder if that was my right name his reply was ‘It has been eternally/ever so’. I love my name and was delighted to find that it means the God’s joy. May I always be so, and may I always live up to it.

Category: OR and Odinism

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